Friday, June 6, 2008

NOCOLONY.COM Buy a Pushcart

Inaugural issue of NO COLONY is now available for presale. Any folks who preorder will be thanked profusely via metronomic brain stem action.

The preorder price is $11 including shipping.

Also available on the site are two new publishing options we'd like to encourage you to consider.

For a measly $400 American dollars, the value of which decreases by the polar minute, you can buy your text into our magazine.

For $650 American dollars, you can buy your text into our magazine and be guaranteed a very special Pushcart nomination. We won't spill grease on the application.

Our dicks are very hard as we make this announcement.

This supplemental money will not be spent on the magazine but on cheese and organ donors and maybe like curtains or Windex or little babies.

Stories accepted in this way will be printed in pink text on black paper, to make them stand out just that much more.

Your fame is exponentially increasing, I can smell it.

We are not liars fucks or morons maybe.

Here is an image I started to use on the NO COLONY website but then did not.



I am also an organism.

Let sluts collide.
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15 comments:

  1. Ken BaumannJune 6, 2008 at 3:54 PM

    this is a winning strategy

    ReplyDelete
  2. BLAKE BUTLERJune 6, 2008 at 4:00 PM

    we should sell no colony christmas wreaths with barry hannah and russel edson ornaments and ceramic erection ornaments

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tao LinJune 6, 2008 at 4:39 PM

    good job, i want to submit

    i want to 'earn' my pushcart though

    i hope rick moody doesn't buy all the available pushcart nominations

    ReplyDelete
  4. BLAKE BUTLERJune 6, 2008 at 4:42 PM

    tao
    yes submit
    we wannit

    rick moody just bought 2 of 4 for a 10% discount, options are closing fast, we are in negotiations with thomas mcguane's agent

    ReplyDelete
  5. sam pinkJune 6, 2008 at 6:01 PM

    do contributors pay for an issue?

    ReplyDelete
  6. BLAKE BUTLERJune 6, 2008 at 6:03 PM

    sam, no

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 6, 2008 at 7:24 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. BLAKE BUTLERJune 6, 2008 at 7:44 PM

    she's workin it

    ReplyDelete
  9. DBJune 6, 2008 at 11:18 PM

    i hope no one thinks i had to buy my way in now.

    ReplyDelete
  10. noneJune 7, 2008 at 12:34 AM

    i just saw that blakebutter.com (not a typo- but a winning brand) was available.
    i am going to buy it and design it with actual pushcarts and i know from them.

    ReplyDelete
  11. sam pinkJune 7, 2008 at 10:21 AM

    i am glad that gena said something about the old woman's boobs because i stared at them for a long time and thought about sexual things and then i was glad to see someone else discuss the topic of the boobs so i wouldn't feel too intensely focused on the boobs.

    ReplyDelete
  12. BLAKE BUTLERJune 7, 2008 at 12:38 PM

    daniel, you will not printed in pink on black paper, dont worry

    minivan, blakebutter makes your toast taste inverted and sad

    sam, old women still fuck

    ReplyDelete
  13. jeremeJune 7, 2008 at 2:22 PM

    Actually the physique of a couple of them is pretty damn impressive for their age.

    The old one with the big tits has a killer ab area if you look closely.

    I am going to guess that this picture was taken at a lake in Arizona or Nevada. These creepy old naked fucks are every where up there.

    ReplyDelete
  14. noneJune 8, 2008 at 3:25 AM

    boobs are super duper sexual in every way- none of that dopey bullshit.

    i know from them because i breastfed until my kid could practically read. it is all part of the continuum.

    plus, as a hag, i take offense to calling these here folks old. i have had older.

    ReplyDelete
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