Monday, March 26, 2007

efficient shit

this is i think my 4th blog. i had a blog that i made with txt files a long time ago before blogspot places existed
i have two other blogs i deleted
i have a blog i write in a lot more on my myspace page but mostly there i just talk shit in an indirect manner about people in atlanta

i just found out i was a finalist in the sonora review short-short fiction contest, and though i didnt win they want to print my story but i had to tell them it was already online somewhere so i'm thinking they may not want it anymore. should i not have told them that? i think more people read things on the internet anyway. if people were honest they'd mostly only publish online because way more people read that than issue #3 or even April 2006 of small magazines, though i do like small magazines. i guess what i'm saying is more people should do online writing more often and not think that its cheaper or easier or something. i read way more online magazines than print ones and i read more print ones than your average person. let's be honest more often.

but maybe they'll still want to print it because different people read different places. i never understood the reprints policies most places have. if its good, it should be printed so the most people can see it, at least to some extent.

i am trying really hard to waste time today so that i dont actually get work done before i go on a trip starting tomorrow.

here's what i wrote in the other blog today.

this summer i wanna wear goggles a lot
not swim goggles but the kind motorbikers wear
i do not want a motorbike because those are dumb
i want to wear the goggles in the intense sun so that my face burns around the goggles so that even when i'm not wearing the goggles it looks like i am, though of two different colors
i want to wear the same shirt everyday and sweat in it a lot
i do not want to get a tattoo
i want to eat a lot of food one time every day and not eat at all the rest of the day because i feel efficient when i do it like that
right now i am not very hungry
swimming is going to be fun
people like to mess with money
i like when people spell people as 'peopel'
i didnt decide i liked that because i misspelled it when i wrote it but because i genuinely thought about how i like it
i wish more people would have tried to buy my cds so i can get rid of them i am going to put up more cds on ebay even ones i think i still like because i really dont still like them they just symbolize a thing that used to be cool to me and a thing i thought was giving me something but alls it was really giving me was a hard time
i like phrases like 'a hard time'
i found a joke i wrote on my hard drive
not on the hard drive itself but on a file on the hard drive though if it were a really good joke i would have written it in sharpie right there on the spinny drive part
here's the joke i wrote:

A: For Pete's sake.

B: For Pete's sake? What about Jalliope?

i dont remember writing that joke its still a joke right
i think the j in jalliope should be pronounced as an h because thats what mexican people do
i think everyone should write a poem today
i think it'd be neat if more people wrote poems
i wonder what certain people i know would write if they tried to write a poem and were honest about it rather than doing what a lot of people try to do when they dont really write poems and they like have to for a class or something--usually they get all lyrical and retarded and say things the way they think it should sound to be a poem
the best poems are ones that dont do that i think
the best poems are ones that just say things
like this me writing right now is a better poem than a lot of poems
maybe i should submit this to a literary journal and see if they take the average number of days says it takes them to reject the poem
or maybe they'd take it
i'm still typing
did you like my joke?
i think maybe i didnt write it
i think maybe someone else came and wrote that joke on my computer and saved it with all the other files of writing i have so i'd look at it and wonder why i wrote that joke
i dont like standup comedians because they work too hard at talking
i'd like to see that one guy dane cook get thrown in front of a big truck driven by someone without a conscience
not really because i dont want to see anyone die right now but he at least needs to be quiet a little more often
most of the things he says arent funny and people only laugh because he makes a big deal out of it
they included tim allen on the list of stand up comedians on wikipedia when i looked it up because i couldnt think of dane cook's name
i am very bad at names
i am very bad at talking though sometimes i can act like a dumber version of myself and be all nice and easygoing but really i'm not like that
i really just like to sit at my computer and get new email and type dumb things and keep going back to the refrigerator to see if there's anything new to eat there
which there isnt

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

reviews and dumb

I have a review of Myfanwy Collins's flash fiction piece 'Quarter' now up at Smokelong Quarterly. The review is longer than the story.

I also have a review of Tao Lin's upcoming novel EEEEE EEE EEEE coming in the next Bookslut. Both that novel and his story collection BED can be ordered at his website by clicking on that link. And they are well worth it, as I'll talk about in the review.

I'm trying hard to blog more but I lose track of these things so quickly.

I have been writing about 40 hours a week on a new novel, almost immediately after finishing a previous one. After finishing it I wasn't satisfied with the ending and I felt too tired to rework it. I'd been in that same mode for so long and the work felt too difficult. My characters in the novel were all unsympathetic. I like unsympathetic characters. I like to imagine the thoughts of people I wouldn't mind seeing get hit by a car. The mainstream reading public, and probably the majority of even the literary public, does not like unsympathetic characters. And so this book will exist on my hard drive for a while, until I get the nuts to go back and fix it, but for now I kind of like it there.

To get away from unsympathetic characters I am now writing a novel about an accused pedophile. That's a good idea, Blake.

Blake is a smart fucker.

Blake wins by only thinking.


If god wrote the bible, why did he stop there? Is he a one-trick pony? Fearing the sophomore slump?

Shush, dick.