Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Cooch Braids

No Colony / NYC weekend went down like a hooker with a crunch eye, I mean we ate a lot and I moved my mouth and looked at people and felt happy in my inside.

Seriously, the reading couldn't have gone much better, great crowd (thanks!), beerz, smart readers (everyone kept it short and sweet and there were never any 'oh fuck this guy's drifting into the void of his own mind's grandeur' moments).

Got to hang with lots of the online friendlies I never get to see and met some new faces I've talked with for loveyoulongtime on the internet, NEW MEETS = Shane Jones is a real dude and smiles nicely (he has videos from the reading here on his blog I forgot to tape them myself damn it), Ken Baumann is genuine and refreshing and funny in a way others are often not funny, and good, Nick Antosca is svelte and righteous and a good person to have lunch with, GianCarlo DiTrapano hypnotized me with his No Colony reading and was killer nice to boot, Catherine Lacey is a gentlewoman with class (got copy of her new chapbook with Chelsea Martin and Ellen Kennedy just out from Happy Cobra Books, it looks awesome, I have a blurb on it), Leigh Stein was sweet and I wished I'd been less drunk so I could talk better, Gabe Durham was like a wise cousin, Joe Salvatore felt genuine and kind, and etc etc etc so many names and faces, good to be in the house.

I vaguely remember yelling about eating a baby on the back porch on some bar and interrupting some dude on a date, said dude who then tried to scorn me for talking about eating babies in public, his mind was turning behind his eyes trying to think of Dane Cook joke, they left quick.

I didn't black out, you owe me $5 Jereme. :)

I didn't ask anyone to tell me a story about France.

Eating at a Mexican diner at 4 am with some of the above + the ever-awesome Robert Lopez and Mister Master Mike Young was a place I wish I could press a button anytime I want and return to, blearing drunkenly at those around us and the neon cake case, gorging.

Thanks to Justin & Tao for putting me up and leading me around, that was nice and kind.

Leaving my email and rss feeder basically untouched for 5 days feels like letting your bush grow huge all up and down your legs.

Last night on the long drive home accidentally stayed on i-95 instead of getting on i-85, ended up 2 hours out of the way, ended up invoking a small carnival town owned by a man named Pedro where all the buildings were named after Pedro and with huge ceramic mexican men standing around, then we invoked a demon road by playing Fantomas's DELIRIVM CORDIA loud on a road through nowhere, I saw the road topple sideways, we were going down,

you can invoke another land there, in South Carolina, I am sure of it, there will be more.

Listening to REMAIN IN LIGHT 7 times through thereafter will cut you in little ribbons under the ribbons in your cooch braids

There is too much to say now, my email is shitting in my hair, will come back later or some

** ALSO: you must read this **


gabe durham said...

Blake (loud): All my life I've wanted to bite into a baby.

Guy (to self): I'm on my first date in years. Should I defend her honor against the baby-eater or join in the joke? Honor or joke?? Well the moment for rage has passed now. Joke then. OK... Here we go. Joke coming up...

It was a pleasure, sir. Would love to have munched vegan yummies with y'alls Saturday night, but next time, next time.


that guy had his mind busy with date rape, you could see it in his eyes

a pleasure indeed, and more soon!

jereme said...

do you want me to mail or paypal the 5 spot?


use it to buy yrself a beer from me

jereme said...

oh no, i always keep my word

do not make this more difficult than it has to be

BlogSloth said...

hold up, fuck.

did u eat nachos?



we done shared a table full of them, i dont remember what kind, i was drunk, they were good

Keith said...

sounds like an amazing amazing weekend. glad it went well. drunk nachos go down like willy wonka's chocolate river. aka: candy city. or something.

yeah, the cider press thing is insane. literally hard to believe. it's causing rightfully a stirring among bloggers and first manuscript contest-winning hopefuls alike.

Daniel Bailey said...

hell yes, i'm glad this thing went well. i was there in spirit. i had a and went to bed early that night. so not really in spirit, but in like, regretting having to get up early on saturday.

Darby said...

I don't know about that cider press thing. Both the press and the poet seem suspicious to me. Why start a blog just for vengeance?

derek said...

good to have you back in the saddle, Nacho.

In regards to Cider Press, what do people expect from a "poetry contest"?


if i felt like she did i might start a blog for vengeance, though yeah, maybe that's a little much. i dont know, it reeks pretty hard.

you're right though derek, anyone entering contests has exhibited some small amount of blind faith that is probably too much to ask for

i still think its fucked up, no matter how wary any part of the story might make

Keith said...

if THAT SHIT IS HAPPENING, and TO YOU, i'm sure it's a much different story. it hasn't happened to me, but i'm not sure what you're implying by "poetry contest," derek. what do you mean exactly? is there something different from all the short fiction contests out there?


i think contests mostly rub me the wrong way, it's kind of tough

to revoke the winner two years in a row is so disgustingly blatantly a money making scheme, i think it is deserving of starting a blog just to tell people they shouldn't waste their money on those fucks

Adam R. said...

Yeah, contest ethics are such an ever-present issue. It's boring. But it was really interesting to read about her interactions with the publisher after she won.

I want some nachos.






they have 'nacho tots' at the vortex here, they are too much

i want nachos on blue corn chips with mashed potatoes and corn and salsa verde and steak and some kind of good cheese mm

peter b. said...

you and yoru fancy parties


me and my stankbox

seems like i would have known this sooner, but don't eat a pickle and then eat peanut butter

jereme said...

peanutbutter and pickle sandwhiches are the best


the tits meow


i'm not going outside for a week i think

N A said...

A pleasure it was. Whenever there's pleasure to be had, one should try to have it, and there was pleasure to be had last wknd.