I've gotten I think 3 personal rejection letters in the last few days, all three posing a similar question: how is this connected to the real world?
I am not phased in any way by rejections anymore, if anything I like them, honestly, especially when they say things.
One of the letters said this: "... the general consensus here was that it was a thing with too many layers, layers upon layers, and the process was more of a process of peeling them away to get to the meaning. Not a bad thing in itself, of course, so long as it's part of a process of meaning... "
Process of meaning. Meaning. I don't know. Why did the dog shit into the cantaloupe in this scene? What does the dog shitting into the cantaloupe say about our lives, in this day now?
Equally: What does a guy going to a store and meeting a woman mean? What does a character realizing he has cancer mean? How directly should a layer be connected to another layer in order for the idea to be clear?
A better question: why does something in a book have to be speaking to our lives?
What if the author doesn't know and doesn't want to know?
What can be said that isn't speaking to a life in some way, outside of pure aasdhfoasydoriuaoduri gibberish?
Though I honestly have felt affected by asiodfhjasidfyoaiudyfiu more than, say, books where every action has a reaction and each move is eventually understood.
I think too many movies and Flannery O'Connor prize winning books and so on have milked the idea of text as life replication object or motive opener into something very restrictive and dangerous really, at least in certain forums.
I'm not talking about 'experimental' literature here, or making an argument against narrative, per say, but more wondering what certain types of motives and expectations are for in fiction.
Is the reader working to connect the 'meaning' bad?
Is unclear meaning, rendered well, not desired?
Layers upon layers
Recently, when Johannes Goransson read here in Atlanta, he read part of a text that said, specifically, 'NARRATIVE = DEATH,' referring to tag line for a Godard film in the poem. The other reader who read with Johannes, Chris Bundy, a more narrative-interested guy who seemed a bit edged by reading after Johannes (who wouldn't?) specifically referred to that moment before he began with his story. He asked Johannes if that's what he'd said, and Johannes agreed, adding 'I didn't say I was right.'
Chris's story then ended in several people in the narrative dying.
I don't believe the idea that 'every story has been told,' I've never read a story about a hermaphrodite with lesions over his eyes opening a bakery in Cabbagetown GA and starting his own branch of young female club to compete with Girl Scouts, while in the evenings going to a bridge parlor to expose himself to old women. I also feel, though, that if that story, as ridiculous or 'irreal' as it is, isn't told using words that do something in and of themselves, 'sentences,' then you aren't saying anything at all.
And yet, too, there can be things that happen, tangentially even, in stories or what have you, that have no referendum, no ulterior zoning, etc. They are words, the words themselves, as fractal moments or as ant heads in an enormous anthill, say something in a few words that open only for there, then, and are finished. And that is all they should be, to expound on them would be to beat their cheeks.
This second letter excerpt is from a friend, so I feel slightly attenuated in posting it, but I have absolutely no hard feelings, so hopefully the editors won't either, the piece that was sent was an excerpt from a larger thing that probably did not stand alone, and regardless, it doesn't matter, I am just thinking aloud here:
"For instance, when the birds become pillows, what does this really offer the reader? It's a lovely image, but what real-world parallel is there for us to come away with?"
I don't know, what does the birds becoming pillows offer? What else should be said?
Why can't a bird made into a pillow just be a bird pillow?
Why can't a forehead be slathered in bacon grease while the narrator stands in the hotel mirror with the three babies on the bed behind him, without needing to know that the narrator is undergoing chemo and feels an emotional ennui?
It is dangerous and reckless I think to think that all narratives, or even realistic or connective narratives, are ones that have a palpable link to real life, real moments, the real.
I say this completely outside my own writing, my own taste even, I think.
Like, what is really real brah?
Like, what is human n shit?
'Ulysses posted the photos of his mother's liver surgery to his blog and turned around to touch the bright blue sore on the window through which the morning had begun to splatter glue.'
I am excited about the upcoming issue of Unsaid, it seems like an answer to some of this, it has some really recent surrealist stuff from me, and I have noticed several really incredible others that will be in it: Scott Garson, Rachel B. Glaser, Peter Markus, Kristina Born (K. had sent the piece to No Colony also we were about to accept it, it is amazing, fuck). It seems like the issue will be big, like the other issues, that could be laid on an operating bed and young children sent in to see the book.
I started off to write this blog with a clear point but then having a clear point about writing fiction that doesn't have a clear point seems pointless and like a dick in the eye.
Here's something real that happened to me on Monday: In the cemetery down the street from my house the other day there was a grave that was swarmed with daisies, I mean the plot was big as a king sized bed and the daisies had grown up waist high on it, covering every inch of the plot, there were hundreds of bees.
I want my headstone to say something like 'He dun fucked up.' or 'This would be a good place to take a piss.'
Today is 'be nice + positive day,' thought of by me, though I am off to a late start, having started the day with stinkin' caused by me, so it's like a trade off.
Anyway,
Here is a dumb poem, it doesnt have a name, its not really a poem, i wrote it in like 30 seconds, while feeling empty on the phone:
Can I have a baby just so there's a baby to kiss sometimes? I just went outside and watched my shadow fling its arms. I fling my arms when I walk back from the mailbox with nothing. Each morning I bet our mailman drinks whole milk: this so he has the energy to keep on coming, though if it were me, you would never get a thing. I would probably go to the bank and sit outside and watch people coming in and out with or w/o $$ and I would hand them everything I had. I wouldn't get to stay a mailman very long, but then there would be days to go home and lay on the sofa and caress the black neon bag that comes built into everyone but that only mailmen know about.
Hey Blake, go fuck yourself.
Thanks, Blake.
Ok, there's also this:
And now here is a Gchat I had with Shane Jones yesterday that made me feel better about things n things. I realize posting gchats is a thing that happens, but it kind of helped me feel a change in momentum, I think, there should be more changes in momentum more, WE TALKED ABOUT ALL THE BIG ISSUES, it's really long, we both get boners, so here, don't look:
PEOPLE
12:46 PM Shane: Funny, your blog reminds me of Blake Butler's, except yours is calmer. - molly gaudry me: haha you do seem calmer 12:47 PM i wish i was calmer Shane: no one wants to be calm i'm one step away from being boring me: haha let's not go ovrboard 12:50 PM Shane: that picture on your last post shook me to the core it's terrifying me: oh god i know what the fuck 12:51 PM Shane: could you imagine driving and seeing that it remeinds me of kafka's in the penal colony some kind of mass destruction like who designs that 12:57 PM someone is in control of that thing ugh me: i bet a mexican Shane: everythign is just so depressing lately me: no english, 3.45 an hour Shane: i got coffee this morning and a woman was yelling at the worker "i want an early gray tea!" she just kept saying EARLY GRAY TEA me: evertyhing Shane: not earl gray EARLY right in my ear 12:58 PM me: that's when you open up your mouth and put your mouth on their mouth Shane: i couldn't do it i was so close to saying something but i'm a pussy me: and show her her teeth with your teeth i gotta be in a real bad mood to speak up Shane: yeah 12:59 PM me: just not worth it usually but its fun when you do fuck people 1:00 PM Shane: fuck most people me: there you go being calm 1:01 PM Shane: i am what's happenign to me i have no sass anymore me: everything is hard
DEATH
Shane: did tao have a post about not carring about david foster wallace then he took it down or something 1:02 PM me: yeah, well, not quite about not caring, but about having accepted death i wrote a long comment to him Shane: what did it say 1:03 PM me: about how it felt disingenuous and then he took it down i felt bad maybe hvaing caused him to take it down 1:07 PM i have to think 1:08 PM if any other author one i didnt care about in that way killed himself like bret easton ellis i would probably be like 'big deal' 1:09 PM Shane: i realize it's hitting you pretty hard, i still get upset when i think of richard brautigan killing himself me: i just wonder if i would be sassy and rude about it with anyone else 1:10 PM probably i would just keep my mouth shut but part of me can undersztand why people are saying things like that they dont have a personal connection to it, why should they care, besides the humanist aspect of it 1:11 PM Shane: people should care, people should have somethign called compassion especially amongst the community of writers but i think people that read dfw, especially you, really had that close connection of reader and writer 1:12 PM but people are shitty, the just are i don't know what i'm trying to say 1:14 PM me: no you are right they should, or should at least keep bullshit to themselves 1:15 PM Shane: but i think, for me at least, it's also really scarry and a feeling of hopelessness...that someone like DFW with his mind and intellect and humor, etc, saw the world that dark and took his own life..i mean, it should feel like a wake up call to people me: yes that is really what it is frightening 1:16 PM Shane: i woke up the other night at like 4am thinking about that and i told melanie the next mornign that i just felt so lonely just really isolated 1:17 PM me: yeah i've been feeling that its really hard to get over like to me, he accomplished the greatest feat in literature and it was not enough so what the fuck are we doing Shane: right 1:18 PM me: though he did have chemical problems Shane: i ask myself that question all the time what the hell am i doing me: every single day i think
MOTIVATION
Shane: i'm putting together a chapbook of poems, well i was last night and i just started laughing like it was just so absurd to me "chapbook" 17 poems 1:19 PM like why am i doing this me: yeah exactly Shane: should we just write more books? i don't know 1:21 PM me: i really dont know keep going for what Shane: i'm not sure 10 minutes 1:32 PM Shane: have you been writting me: very slowly 1:35 PM Shane: i watched the charlie rose interview with DFW yesterday you can stop me if you don't want to talk about this anymore me: no its ok 1:36 PM Shane: but they were talkign about how dfw had a semester off coming up me: i love that interview Shane: and rose asked him what he was going to do and his reply was so great "well, if the past repeats itself, i'll probably write an hour a day and bite my knuckles thinking about writing for eight hours a day" me: haha yes, i remember that perfect 1:37 PM Shane: just awesome and charlie rose was just starring at him me: i want to watch those again, and videos of him reading, but it bothered me too much to see him talk 1:39 PM Shane: i understand that
CREATION
1:43 PM me: so you finished your edits Shane: yeah adam said they were great and he was impressed 1:44 PM me: that is good 1:45 PM Shane: yeah, i'm still excited about it i started writing something else me: a novel? Shane: yeah 1:46 PM me: excellent projects help Shane: i think so i mean, i'm not sure where this one is going 1:47 PM and i'm also worried it's going to suck, etc me: those are fun concerns i like that kind of mode 1:48 PM Shane: i'm kind of concerned with how the text looks on the page i want to do somethign different from light boxes but i'm not sure what to do with this one 1:50 PM me: what have you been doing with it Shane: well, i only have a few thousand words and the format is turning into the same as light boxes which i don't want something will hit and i'll get excited 1:51 PM i plan on going through my bookshelf tonight and looking at text playing around, etc i like the idea of isolated sentences, but then connecting them, twisting them, etc i'm really not sure 1:52 PM me: isolating is really helpful i thin k Shane: i can't just write stacks of paragraphs me: i forget who said this maybe it was delillo or vollmann but they said when they are writing they put each sentence on its own page 1:53 PM then collapse after each is perfect i cant remember who it was but that sounds nice Shane: that sounds really comforting to me 1:54 PM maybe i'll do something like that i have to play around for a while 1:55 PM me: yes 1:56 PM Shane: what novel was written in all columns me: i know books that use a lot of columns, but not one that does it all the way, that i can think of the people of paper has the best use of columns i've seen 1:57 PM Shane: yeah 1:58 PM well i have two characters i was thinking of using columns seems kind of lame though me: sounds like a fun idea cris mazza has a great story that makes columns work really well i think that's where plascencia stole it Shane: hmmmm me: 'is it sexual harassment yet?' 2:00 PM Shane: i just pulled it up the columns idea is interesting 2:01 PM or the idea of two characters and you get two blocks of text on each page from them, kind of playing off each other me: right 2:05 PM i think i just want to make something really brutal like take bleak to the nth degree, pull out all stops 2:06 PM Shane: fuck yeah me: if i am going to be called bleak, i want to show what concept of bleak really is because i've never felt bleak really 2:07 PM i think i can make blood meridian look calm Shane: i like where you're going with this
SURREALISM
2:08 PM Shane: i think about the concept of "surrealism" a lot and writing a book that just explodes the notion of surrealism...like just an explosion of imagination me: yeah surrealism never got done right i think not to its fullest Shane: no, no way 2:09 PM i think i want to explore it more me: i was really concerned with that when i did those two novels back to back Shane: most of the stuff people tell me to read that is surreal really isn't like i don't get it like with that fucker andre breton me: ugh breton is nothing zip Shane: i know 2:10 PM me: its not even surreal in any way Shane: i don't get it the whole movement is interesting, but... me: its just another -ism more talk than rock 2:11 PM have you read any donald antrim Shane: yeah, i have 2:12 PM me: i like how he uses surrealist stuff, its not a full on surreal, but it brushes against it nicely the verificationist Shane: i didn't read that one 2:13 PM me: you read elect mr robinson? Shane: yeah and i read his memoir book me: that one is good, its not as good as the other 2 though i think ugh, the memoir Shane: yeah, the memoir me: fuck that thing Shane: fuck memoirs me: 100 brothers and the verificationist, those are much better than the other 2 2:14 PM though i do like the chapter in his memoir about trying to find the right mattress that was the only good part it hought Shane: that was great and how he sends it back doesn't he spend like twelve grand on some kind of super mattress me: haha yeah 2:15 PM Shane: i wanted to read 100 brothers but never did 2:16 PM me: its pretty wonderful Shane: surreal? me: there really are 100 brothers they all hang out its got a lot of surreal to it, yeah 2:17 PM the verificationist is moreso surreal in execution but still, yeah, not quite what i've always thought of as what the thing could have been/ be 2:18 PM Shane: i'm reading the wiki page on surrealism me: what does it say Shane: Surrealist works feature the element of surprise, unexpected juxtapositions and non sequitur 2:19 PM me: "Jeepers!" 2:20 PM Shane: maybe the painters got surrealism down, but the writers didn't 2:21 PM dali did pretty nice shit with it et al 2:23 PM thank you for the talking shane, it made me feel better in several ways somehow Shane: i feel like i have some energy now
JOHANNES GORANSSON has a new hybrid-form novel (almost) out called DEAR RA from Starcherone Books, who also recently released Zachary Mason's THE LOST BOOKS OF THE ODYSSEY (which I am reading now and loving quite a bit).
I read Johannes's last book, A NEW QUARANTINE WILL TAKE MY PLACE and was absolutely ripped by it, what Johannes is doing, a kind of multihanded-in-one-mind movement towards a new brutal surrealism in quick pleasure bursts. QUARANTINE was one of my favorite new books so far this year, and I am excited to read DEAR RA. A review will be forthcoming, but in the meantime, if you are interested in new surrealism, Johannes is vital, order yourself a copy of both, you will not regret it.
*******************
Thank you to everyone who has preordered and/or blogged re: NO COLONY issue 1. I am excited.
Jereme Dean bought 4 copies and is giving away 3 of them in THIS POST ON HIS BLOG. He is having a comment contest and will select 3 winners to get free issues. Jereme Dean is a king, I love this idea for promo, more people should do this, more people should try to be as killer and real as Jereme Dean. Go enter his contest and get a free issue and if you don't, maybe buy'n?
Seriously, thanks Jereme.
UPDATE: Matthew Simmons has pledged to reward 3 more entries to Jereme's post with free copies.
That's wha I'm talkin boutz.
*******************
Today I am focusing on sending out my newer novel to as many open appropriate places as I can find. There seems a bit of a dearth of open free submissions of book-length manuscripts, especially the kind I am sending right now: often bleak, brutal and surreal.
I finally got to unbox my books and it was weird to see them breathing on the shelves again. I spent a while last night looking at my books trying to find ones that seemed of a mind with what I'm doing that I could send to. Particularly the very surrealist and multiformed one I just finished, which I still can't decide between the two titles of, though I think for sending out I will use HOW MANY FLOORS DOES THE NIGHTMARE HAVE?
I realized also that the novel takes a lot from all the imbibing of William Burroughs's novels that I read so often 5-6 years ago. Reading over the passage I had underlined in THE SOFT MACHINE, I realized how much that language and imagery bank had cut into my brain. If there's any major precedent for NIGHTMARE? it is him: his jump cuts, his blabber layering, his brutalism and his sense of recording of moment.
Where would Burroughs publish those books now? If he were new? (He still could be.)
What press would have put out THE WILD BOYS? I don't know more than a couple possibilities, I really don't. That's scary.
Here is an embedded manifesto from THE SOFT MACHINE:
There is the work of getting it off the shelves and that is what I do. We are not interested in the individual models, but in the mold, the human die. This must be broken.
I also found another title I want to use from this line:
Grope movie and walked in on the wrong room warmly. Exempt light and lungs.
GROPE MOVIE: that may have to be the title now.
It's a weird state, this state.
TUPELO PRESS is now open to fiction and nonfiction, but they charge a $45 reading fee, and you're only allowed to send up to the first 100 pgs, and if they like they'll ask for more. $45? Really? What, are you using diamond encrusted page turners? I understand certain reading fees, but that just seems ridiculous?
Maybe I'll get desperate.
I don't feel desperate.
OH!: Lily Hoang's Lamination Colony ebook THE WOMAN DOWN THE HALL, will be out probably by the end of this week. Look out, it's a doozy.
