I had microsoft word summarize the sections I have deleted so far from my nonfiction ms about sleep into 100 words or less, here's what it said:

In my head the light went white. I lay face-up in my bed, the room full of a soft light. The color of all sound. The light contained infinite terror, growing slick up my insides. The light continued. A gone light.
The circuit woke.

The horror of bodies, speech. If the sleepwalker walks through unknown cities then there must also be a language for the people there lit inside the tunnels of the head.

Dern shoots again. The same light. Piano sound. Dern shoots again. Exits.

i have changed my name to joey, please only refer to me as joey from now on if you refer to me which isn't required

pretty much on the desk here there are a few things including a letter from my mother about why her computer does not work and a red marker and a black marker and a chip clip but no chips

i can't stop saying the phrase 'they were eating it up like dowgs' which is something that a now dead person said in one of his several hundred recorded songs. the phrase has learned to override the words coming out of other people too

the other day my mother put her hands on both my sides and said that i looked very thin

i have already this year read more books than i read last year because of the bike machine which by the time i am finished with each session has two huge pools of sweat beneath the parts where my arms are above it during the time i ride on the bike that does not move. many of the people who bike or lift or run will come and wipe down the machines they've touched when they are finish but i don't do that. the other night there was a corner of a piece of velveeta cheese on the concrete it made me sad

i don't like the guard guy who won't ever raise his hand or speak to me no matter how directly i say hello or wave at him, i think he talks to other people fine

i think big boi was grillin out with some of his dudes by our pool the other day, he was turning meat with a large silver thingie

there are games you can make up it is fun when you make up games it is like there was something waiting to be played all this time and you found it just like that

i am conie the sellfish punk but i would rather be conie at the stroke of midnight like my sister is

have you read prunebomb

have you eaten anything great

things are pretty nice if you like them

"there is also disappearance, contagion, military murder, telekinetic fire, hurricane, catastrophic subsidence, infant death, mutation, being eaten by animals, oceanic evaporation, suicide, glutinous rain, quicksand topographies made of mud, sky lesions, a massive wall overtaking the earth and total flooding of the landscape... Far from an escape into some sort of monumentalism of destruction, this anti-realistic concentration of ruin perfectly zeroes in on our inveterate inability to actually picture the end, to consider its lobster. It’s in this act then that the true momentous dismay and oppressive compulsion to want to avoid disaster that the inevitability of apocalypse should spirit into us (but doesn’t) is recuperated in the form of an apocalypse of such total immensity it could never come telling us that we risk facing not the impossible but the all too possible."

--- David Rylance, from an essay on my body of work, The Darkest Fits of Light: on dwelling in Blake Butler's de-compositions

Massive thanks to David for this beautiful, generous, and transcendent (beyond myself) text.

this house is getting smolderer

the emotional monologue about speed eating in Taxidermia is the big light

"Will you forget when I forget / that we are come to that"

coming up out of the pool water opening my eyes at the same time today i saw my father in a fraction half-deleted standing halfway between me and the house turned profile and much younger with his head down he was wearing all white the gray of the house in partial shade matched exactly the shade of the concrete of the deck and in the instant of his pixel damaged body disappearing again in the shaking off the water from my face skin and my hair it was as if i had become living in a version of the house left otherwise somewhere else which in the lapping level of the water at my chest was the year my mother found me facedown in the deep end and the gray was also on the air

"A girl who's riding with neither spurs nor stirrups is trying to make her white mare go into the ocean; the mare is shying water is spurting out from all sides under its shaking hoofs among the clear laughs of the Amazon whose body is as sharp and bright as metal, suddenly, what I see, in this shifting light this."

i gave blood to the red cross eleven times today
i drew up a bunch of badges with different names and costumes
the one lady with the cookies recognized me after the 6th giving and wouldn't let me have any more cookies
she winked about the blood part, she had diamond grillz
now i'm emptied out pretty good
i hired a mexican woman to drive me home, her name was portcullis, i shit you not
i'm going to have a baby

Courtney Love's titties

Dazed & Confused Magazine did a page on me in their Jan 2010 issue, the one with Courtney Love's titties in it. Thanks to Tony O'Neill for the props.

14 rap artists i have been listening to a lot lately + 2 showers

QUASIMOTO how much can you delete i can delete a lot, the way madlib trades verses with himself as quas in shifted pitches hurts my gristle like a good light
GUCCI MANE jumping big rocks in the street even the dogs here will walk out in front of your car like who's this mofucker
BONE THUGS the subs in my car make the metal go like the car is dead inside, it sucks to rolls the windows down cuz it kills that ouch, makes me breathe my air over and over
THREE SIX there are clear castles between the traffic lights, you can go in the stairwells where the bums piss and it's like something rising through you, across the street from that is the sub shop where they give you love for coming in the door
TUPAC even while you get an older body there's the year you drove late in florida and that street wouldn't come back now if you went looking for it but it's out there
BIG BOI don't need a largess need a game machine and someone for sundays, some grits and cheese and a doughnut and a mouth to see it beside
FAT PAT grillin up in the white apartment closet laughin and makin candy out of days that felt like nothing "see a different level of the game fo sho"

most days i take two showers, one when i get up and one covered in sweat
sometimes i combine the two into one

DOOM i would be better off with a set of sweatpants for sure, or a tattoo of the pants along my knee; hide out and make money for your child, even if the child doesn't exist
PROJECT PAT this room could be even smaller than it is, there are never enough cookies, get a houseparty started in your kitchen, sweatpants
Z RO let the game squirt w/o you, show up when it's hot, get a box and take some home
MIKE JONES today my father pulled a black hair out of the pad holding him in his wheelchair and held it up at light, said "we need to make me a dress out of this one"
DIZZEE RASCAL don't leave come back sit on the bed with me smile and let's have cookies and come around or do what you need i want to
BUN B "ain't nothin changed everyday aint nothin chay-ange" the long rhythm of the tree that isn't under this house and the rat that ran wet through here and died so i came home to smell, i don't plan on leaving again lately, it's still small
T.I. the roof on the building i walked into looked like it had been set to the edge with a big bic lighter and clicked and dragged, lunchmeat shaderoof and an erased playground, they had ice cream inside

this year can eat my #2 pussy

chont dont motherhoue
i am the large as
as wouelad

neighbor scared
she has dog of
she is scared is
i ate 2 doughnuts

margarietas and the nachoe
with chips plus cheese
ran a car
girl looked said go back to friends
girl looked and was a lez

i have nothing for it
i have no dogs
dead mouse smelled like me

i was going to eat dinner with mom
she was late
she saw my father pushed behind a desk couldnt move
he had teeth still
i am going to not go

hung out with the cat hastings
he didnt want to talk
threw a ball for him to look at
he half ate
he stayed in the stayroom

i left

i have a friend york he's nice
we rode the white van
we disliked similar
and liked similar
there was a mexican band

two doughnuts is trouble
if you are trying to drive and peopple have problems
bithcass neighbor with the blackheaded dog
saw me coming didnt front like she wasnt going inside cuz she saw me
just went on in

cool
good move ill rep it too if i can get my hard shit
tupac is dead
bone is trying
i am dogs
i am tots

no more candy for fuckface

Where

I am guest editing Everyday Genius for April, have a lot of fun and messed up googa to throw at you, beginning today with Laura Carter. Look on there weekdays this month and words will be there.


Thomas Kendall wrote about reading Scorch Atlas at Transductions, which has become one of my favorite sites. He goes, "Scorch Atlas punches evolution in the kidneys."



going to Houston tomorrow to hang with Gene at the Houston Book Fair, then we ride in a van to the AWP. scheduled a lot of crap in many arenas over a breadth of time, whoops, here's where i will send a body of me:


Thursday, April 8, 2-4pm at Stella's Coffeehaus - Dewclaw w/ a ton of friends, Mike Young, Claire Donato, Dottie Lasky, Matt Salesses, Jen Tynes, Amina Cain, Jac Jemc, Matt Simmons, some other freaks


Event Title #2: Orbiting Salt: A Quarterly West/Western Humanities
Review/Barrelhouse/Versal Reading
Scheduled Day: Thursday, April 8
Scheduled Time: 4:30 PM to 5:45 PM
Scheduled Room: 111 - CCC
w/ Cris Mazza, some other freaks


Thursday, April 8, 2010: 9 PM - A Reading: Northwestern University Press, &Now Books , and Artifice Magazine The Celtic Tavern, 1801 Blake Street, w/ Lance Olsen, Christian Bök, Jeffrey DeShell, Davis Schneiderman, Teresa Carmody, some wildnesses


Event Title #1: Indie Mags: Publishing Outside of MFA Programs and Other
Institutional Support
Scheduled Day: Friday, April 9
Scheduled Time: 12:00 PM to 1:15 PM
Scheduled Room: 108 - CCC
w/ Aaron Burch, J. Wang, some other freaks


friday, at 7pm (maybe 8) at the Skylark:: Featherproof w/ the Featherproof crew Shorts n Shots and some freaks




live it