Tuesday, December 18, 2007
for Bob Uecker
I am cold. I am more cold in my feet than in my stomach. When I turn the heater on it screams. I can handle the screaming when I am awake but not while attempting to fall asleep. I am trying to get myself in the mood. I am leaving tomorrow to go to another state where I will sit in one room and not move very much. I will get up to go into another room and eat voraciously. Then I will go back and I will sit. Last night I dreamt I was a woman. I dreamt about being locked in a very small room by a man with a Spanish wife. I stabbed the wife three times in the chest by pushing at certain places on the door between us, the door to the room where I'd been locked by the woman's husband. The man got very angry when his wife was stabbed. Several other men came to be angry with him. They began to try to touch me through the door. I found a hole in the room and moved out of the building and across several roofs into a lot. In the lot were several parked cars and no people. In the lot was a church. I knew by looking at the windows of the church that one day there I would be married. I knew that and then I woke. This compositional frame in my web browser says that 'dreamt' is not a word but I do not believe it. I feel sad at myself that I had to go into Microsoft Word and type 'dreamt' to see if it would be underlined there also. I am susceptible to suggestion but only by certain people. Other kinds of people I often will go far to dispute them if I feel I want to disagree. There is a wineglass on my desk with just enough water in it for one sip and I sipped it and it tasted sweet. Soon tonight will be over.