Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Guest Post: Mike Wood on Dzanc Books's BEST OF THE WEB

Today is a big promo day for the brand new BEST OF THE WEB 2008 from Dzanc Books (for more posts all around the web and info on how to buy, check out this post at the EWN.

Later this evening I will have a post about the No Colony issue 1 (which we got in the mail yesterday and they cut my v) as well as a promotional vid for the reading this Friday, which happens to include one of the fine fine dudes who's in BEST OF THE WEB 2008, Justin Taylor.

Here's what Mike had to say:

Blah Blah Blah: What Online Publishing Means To Me (& More!)

Hello there! My piece in Best of The Web 2008 is called ‘The Mystery of Henry’s Bicycle’ and is about Henry James’s testicles. I had hoped that my contribution to his website business today would be the first nine pages of a comic book I’ve written that’s about a bunch of movie stuntmen and a zoo (Da Bronx Zoo!) that has been illustrated by my friend Ed Suckling. I’ll explain in a moment why this was not to be. For now I’ll note that in trying to convince Dzanc Books publisher Dan Wickett that I be permitted to submit this instead of what was actually asked for, I noted that while not directly commenting on the issues us contributors were asked to comment on, it does at least sort of represent how I feel about some of them. For example, I bet that when you started reading this you didn’t expect to have the chance to read the first nine pages of a comic book I’ve written that’s about a bunch of movie stuntmen and a zoo (Da Bronx Zoo!) that has been illustrated by my friend Ed Suckling (or anyway, to read about why you will not be able to read about it) and that’s what online publishing means to me. It means the chance to waste a lot of time getting distracted looking at websites that sound as if they might possibly be at least kind of interesting (potentially interesting enough, anyway, to justify the expenditure of the energy required to push the button on your mouse while the cursor is over where the link is; you also, I suppose, have to expend the energy to get the cursor there as well; and then there is the time needed to assess whether the website you are now on is maybe interesting or just another piece of garbage of which there are so many) but human beings are pretty incredible, and all that work doesn’t really take all that long (still, how many websites are out there where we have the chance to look at them but decide that even that amount of expenditure isn’t worth it!) and so it’s really not such a big deal, is it? Still, there are a lot of websites out there – it’s like everything’s connected to everything else, it’s like some kind of crazy web or something! – and that’s where things can get hairy, where you can end up wasting even tons more time and energy than you intended, often with nothing more to show for it than one or two lousy websites you find that are sort of mildly amusing or whatever and so you email the links for them to your friends but then they never even bother to look at them (to expend even that miniscule amount of energy…even though they are your friends!) because they’re just too cool for school. Now, I suppose you can have like experiences just flipping through books or other print media but in doing so one is much less likely to end up on Wikipedia. And, as another example (of the comic book that was not to be expressing if not directly commenting on ideas related to the issues us contributors to the Best of The Web 2008 book were meant to comment on here) well, the story takes place in New York City, which is where I’m from (go Mets) and so I’m sure there’s some sort of a non-coincidental connection at play there as well.

Now, why can’t you have a look at this comic book about stuntmen and the zoo? Well, it’s because the illustrator, Edward Suckling, has simply been too lazy to illustrate the thing. Ed, a really lazy and wretched bastard, is incredibly lazy, and an incredibly wretched bastard. Yes, this is the truth, though to hear Edward tell it he’s simply currently been too busy because he’s engaged in some sort of a b.s.-sounding paying gig because he needs to bring home the bacon for his wife. Or some such b.s.-sounding business such as this. This is what he says, but you and I know better. We know the truth! (He’s lazy a you-know-what!) Still, if you want to see any of the work actually produced by this incredibly wretched and lazy individual (this bastard) (and not just work he’s talked talked talked about doing) then you can go to his website ( and while you’re there, if you go there, if you can stomach going there, if you can expend but a few of your precious ergs of energy to move about your little cursor and push a couple of pretty easily depressed buttons, then you can enjoy (watch, anyway) a bunch of Ed’s movies and see a bunch of his pretty little pictures and stuff. And, among his short films, as it happens, is one called ‘You. Me. Let’s Hug!’ and this one, I hasten to add (but only because to do so so encapsulates (at least a part of!) my feelings for online publishing) it has my voice in it. And, further, as it happens, this movie was recently shown in The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland on a television show called The Culture Show. And, even further as it happens, one of the hosts of that television show, Mark Kermode, actually compared my work to that of one Mr. Robert DeNiro. This is absolutely true…Robert DeGoddamnNiro. Okay, Robert DeNiro, specifically (and perhaps not entirely meaning it as a compliment) in ‘Meet The Fockers’. (But still.) And but still so especially I think because, I hasten to add, I brag, I boast, I crow, because Kermode is listed in something called The Screen Director’s chart as the tenth best film critic ever. Ever! Ever!! Don’t believe me? Just check out his Wikipedia entry.

Take care,
Mike Wood


anonymous said...

This brand is one of the popular brands and makes their name on the planet because of persevering and energy but you can buy essay cheap to manage your essay work. Nike mark is the name of risk and this is the principle reason that this brand wins the great name.

Karl N. Wilson said...

After all these years the trendiest social media platform, Instagram, has remained fairly stagnant. What is the reason for this? One possible reason is the fact that everyone who likes or follows other people on the site uses their real names. By

Karl N. Wilson said...

Once you have buy instagram followers australia, you should consider using the Facebook and Twitter profiles to promote your business. By using Facebook and Twitter, you will be able to connect with your potential customers. You want to develop a strong relationship with your customers so you can keep them interested in your business.

Karl N. Wilson said...

Buyers Feedback helps the sellers to give you detailed feedback so that you can make the best decision. for your business. Buyers Feedback ensures that you receive your desired product from the sellers online. It provides you with immediate feedback of the products and services so that you can make informed decisions and take the best steps for buy tiktok likes.

Alina Florence said...

Excellent blog! Do you have any advice and hints for hopeful writers? Because I’m going to start my web soon, but I’m a slight lost on everything. Several thanks!

Unknown said...

A good structure is important to back the writer’s claim, the reason for which the essay is being written. Students can always hire an expert to write an essay online if they need a perfect structure. And that is the reason students usually search ‘write an essay online’ when they need help writing my essay<>, right from the structuring stage. The experts not only write an essay online but also provide necessary guidelines to the students to design the structure. Here are the elements that the experts consider essential to frame the structure of an essay:

Dakota Leest said...

Wonderful blog! I am a blog writer on serive My blog is dedicated to academic excellence, student's life. If you like those topics, stop by my blog.

Jamie Reade said...

Thanks for sharing a amazing post, I have not seen this informative article before.
buy instagram followers australia

Emma King said...

This is great and awsome post for me. i loved to read your blog. it's really-really amazing. thanks for inspired me by your blog. Online Garen Store
Wall Decor Basket Cycle Online
Cute Monk Set
Traditional URLI (Set Of 2)
Wine Bottle Wall Top Planter (Set Of 3)

Emma King said...

CapitalGrocery is Online Grocery Sopping and online Supermarket in Delhi.
Amul Cow Ghee (Tin) (1 litre)
Amul Pure Ghee (Tin) (1 litre)
Amul Pure Ghee (Carton) (500 ml)
Aashirvaad Svasti Pure Cow Ghee (Carton) (1 litre)
Dalda Vanaspati Vanaspati (1 litre)

Danielmarch said...

Thank you for shearing post amazing this is post very useful for me.
Adarsh Park Heights in Gunjur
Adarsh Park Heights
Adarsh Park Heights price
The Prestige Properties
Adarsh Property
Adarsh Constructions

tonny said...

idigic is an Australian Instagram service that offers the best place to buy instagram followers australia. We offer the cheapest, fastest and most reliable Instagram services in Australia. Our team of experts is available 24/7 to provide you with a fast and reliable Instagram service that will get you the results you need. Click here

Mobile Skin Templates said...

ar skin is a mobile skin template for Samsung Galaxy devices. It has many features to make it easy to use, such as a built-in camera, gallery, browser and more. It also has quick and easy access to all of the phone's functions in one place.
Samsung skin

vectorgui said...

VectorGi is a marketplace to sell digital goods online easily. VectorGi is the best place to Sell Digital Products quickly and effortlessly.
more@vectorgi skin

Australia's-Best-Chauffeur-Car-Service said...

If you're looking to buy Instagram followers in Australia, you've come to the right place! At, we top place to buy Instagram followers in Australia offer a variety of packages to suit your needs – whether you're looking to gain followers quickly, or slowly and steadily over time. We also offer a money-back guarantee on all of our packages, so you can be sure you're getting the best possible service. And with our 24/7 customer support, you can be assured that we're always here to help!

receyth said...

best replica bags online high quality designer replica high quality designer replica

Unknown said...

click to read check my blog read what he said look at these guys read this great post to read

Unknown said...

browse around this website More hints check my reference check find more info imp source

Unknown said...

official website best replica designer Extra resources dolabuy ysl Homepage Bottega Veneta Dolabuy

thaytoo said...

see this site Dolabuy Gucci go to my site Ysl replica bags Click Here Dolabuy Gucci