Sunday, October 19, 2008

Answers to Your Google Q's (4) ANNE FRANK FOOD

(from London, England 9/17/08 09:45:54 AM)

Q: what did anne frank eat and drink when she was in the cupbourd

A: Anne Frank had large rivets in her skull cut from where while she lay in the womb her mother had smoked 'skonk,' Anne Frank's mother was heavy into the late 1920's Manchester black metal scene and had imprinted a large tattoo of a jackrabbit on her hind ass, as a result Anne Frank was capable of storing vast quantities underneath her hair that in her younger forgetful years she would often forget about until the taffy or goose fur or tea leaves she'd shoved inside herself had begun to rot and grow mold, it was because of the blue mold off a certain early kind of Triscuit that Anne Frank lost most of the vision in her right eye and often would faint without warning when she heard certain tones from birds, Anne Frank's favorite food was Gugg, Gugg was a brief-lived creation of a Scottish marketing firm determined to resell their own detritus to the consumptive public, the food of Gogg contained the eyelashes, sore sports, scabs, lice, pubic hair, teeth strippings, sleep rot, and various other orifical crud, the crud was packaging into a bright brown mass that resembled hashbrowns and smelled like bees, Anne Frank would eat Gogg until her mother touched her face and said an incantation, Anne Frank's whole head during the period she remained hidden in the cupbourd was lined with Gogg from inch to inch, so thick so that she could not feel herself thinking, could not feel her insides absorbing the Gogg into her brain, in certain early editions of her diaries, the phrase Gogg, or some derivative blather conjured by the post-hypnotic effects of its consumption, is mentioned every third word, such that famous sections such as: "I've reached the point where I hardly care whether I live or die. The world will keep on turning without me, and I can't do anything to change events anyway. I'll just let matters take their course and concentrate on studying and hope that everything will be all right in the end." in their initial format read: "I've Gogged the smeepie where I hardly borshbum Gogg I Gogg or Gogg. The neepy-nee-naw will keep on Goggsleereening without me, and Gog can't Gog anything to Gog lissmissum anyGogg. I'll just Gogg matters Gogg their leiffumwitzis and ictrerunnum on Gogg and Gogg Gogg Gogg will Gogg all Gogg in the nordvunt." The edition commonly known as 'The Diary of Anne Frank' was then mostly generated in a post-trauma legal battle between the Frank estate and Gogg Inc., which was finally settled in that Gogg Inc. agreed to 'correct' the final work of the passed daughter surreptitiously and without credit, the production of which by and large directly led to Gogg Inc.'s financial ruin and subsequent dissolution.

Does anyone know a good printer who does very short run products? Like 100-200 copies of small things, nice, perfect bound, cheap?

Finalizing proofs on EVER, Derek's art for this thing is gorgeous and perfect, he will be running some previews of the art on his blog I think in the near future, and maybe an excerpt on the new web version of Sleepingfish, which I am already vastly enjoying in its web nature, another node. Looking like it might be released before the year is out, or by my birthday in January at the latest. Finalizing now and blurb collection, Ethan Hawke has been tapped.

I finally uploaded the video of us doing Sam Pink's A PLAY FOR TWO PEOPLE at the No Colony reading in Atlanta. My camera is really old so it makes a little clicking sound sometimes, and it is kind of dark in the room, but otherwise it came out okay I think.

Fuck Sam Pink.

For the next five people who order No Colony with the note 'fuck sam pink' included I will include an extra book from a pile of good books, that offer is good through Friday.


DOGZPLOT said...


ryan call said...

my camera does that same thing


thanks barry, i will chck it out

ryan, what is it?

Matt DeBenedictis said...

Darkness be damned. I'm so glad to see this video finally.

Bradley Sands said...

Another printer:

Ken Baumann said...

great video, great performances, fo real

sam pink sucks though, that's too bad


jereme said...


i have a friend who owns a printing/clothing business.

let me know expectations and i will talk to him

Peter Cole said...

no colony has not yet made it to my mail box.

this video is scary. I want to come to Atlanta next time you do something. or maybe the time after next.


apparently there is a whole bunch of orders that were made that aren't in our paypal for some reason, though receipts were sent. i have no idea why. according to our records we have sent out, so anyone who hasn't gotten their issues please yr receipts to nocolony [at] gmail

Anonymous said...

BookMobile is da best.

I want No Colony. Can I buy in Rome?

jereme said...

i am all about the late 1920's black metal scene by the way.

jereme said...

hey blake,

i have been drinkng and it is starting to him me

i hat eyour guts

not really

i want you to grow out your hair long and wild so i can scoop the blond locks up in my hands

and create a nest above your scalp and slowly rub my sadness into it in a slow fashion as the moon weeps for it's soulmate the sun who only wants to mouth fuck jupiter

and afterwards i will tell you that you are fat and that i never loved you and will feel more alone than normal

okay i am going to go leave other random blog comments now

sunday night beer is good. i am busting out the philipino rum next

i think i will regret this tomorrow but it is okay because i am comforatable in my alienation

okay bye

J. A. Tyler said...

I just finished reading no colony - it is a fucking great book - and this is a good deal on top of that - order it, order it, order it.

do printer questions mean the bb empire is getting closer to press realizations?


people love to attack me when drunk

things are being thouhgt of

J. A. Tyler said...

there is an advantage to that.

'things are being thought of'

good good good.


derek i am gonna put it in the mail this week, i forgot i had the addresssssss

jereme said...

i was not attacking you

i was pretending to fuck your long blonde hair with a slow rhythem

and i learned it from daniel.

this is a bad after school special

only the grizzled will understand the reference i think

ryan call said...

it is the sound of the lens trying to focus on the stuff in front of it.

youll notice that it probably does it much less if you are just filming something stationary and there is no mvement at all - that way the camera can just focus once and not adjust.

p said...

god damn it I should have waited to order that shit


ryan, ah, what a shitty camera we have

peter, overachiever

ryan call said...

xmas presents!

p said...

come underachieve with me


in it to win it

p said...

do it to it?