i just drank four cups of coffee in about 10 minutes.
i feel like i'm going to combust.
i am working on a new story about a man and a girl walking into the bed where an ocean evaporated and i am typing so fast i'm not even thinking about the words.
once again i am distracting myself from writing while i write by blogging.
i am housesitting for my parents.
they have a dog that i am supposed to feed and let out though she is very old and won't get up when i call her.
they have been gone for 5 days and the dog hasn't eaten any of her food.
i put some cold cuts on the dog food to make her want it more
but she just eats the cold cuts and leaves the rest.
she won't go outside to piss unless i force her with my hands.
last night i couldn't find her for an hour.
she was laying on her belly in my parents' bedroom where she is not allowed to go.
i slept in my sister's old room with a new bed that no one but me has slept in.
every time i sleep in this room i have nightmares and move around in my sleep.
in one of the nightmares i thought i had been locked in the back of a truck.
i woke up naked, beating the window so hard
i am surprised i didn't break it.
i don't know why i still drink coffee because usually any day i drink it
i end up staying up all night.
the caffeine gets in my system and stays there
and i have enough problems going to sleep as it is.
i was up until the sun came up again last night though i tried to lay down and start sleeping around 4 am.
my brain would not shut the fuck up.
i could not lay still on the bed.
i was also afraid i would break the window or walk into something and hurt myself.
i got up and went and laid in my parents' bed.
their bed is very large.
i had taken an over-the-counter sleeping pill that made me dizzy when i walked
but did not shut my brain off enough to put me under.
i slept on my mom's side of the bed.
there was a ridge in the mattress from where she usually lays, i think.
i did not fit into her ridge.
i turned horizontal and arranged the pillows a different way so i did not feel alone.
the dog was still beside the bed and kept moving every few minutes.
she gnashed her gums and sighed and wriggled.
i got out of the bed and put her outside and closed the door
and then the sun came up and i slept.