I feel like being mean to someone but there's no one around to be mean to.
I haven't really had anything of value to say to anyone at all in the past week and I'm not sure why.
The other day I used a drinking glass against the wall to listen to my neighbor talk to his dog for almost an hour. Mostly he kept saying over and over how he was going to leave but he didn't. He cursed and screamed and said, "Crapola."
Though I enjoy my current lifestyle some days I have no idea what I am doing.
Yesterday afternoon I sat and looked at videos on youtube of people playing WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE and I wished I lived inside them.
Yesterday evening I kept finding dark dirt under my fingernails and I kept chewing them clean over and over and the dirt was still there and I kept eating.
I am only typing this right now because I can't think of anything else I'd like to do.
I wish I still had the white walkman I used to wear when I was fourteen and fat and mowed lawns to make extra money. I listened to tapes of songs I recorded by putting a boombox up to the television and recording music videos. I listened to Dr. Dre and House of Pain and Snow's 'Informer' and C&C Music Factory.
Today a spam email offered the advice: Don't be afraid to take off your pants in her bedroom.
I am not afraid.