America's Got Talent is a hit show
I don't want to read a book set in a foreign country if the person who wrote the book traveled there to write it and especially if they are white
Nothing is important
Authentic mexican food makes my whole head vibrate clean, tonight there were so many mexicans there, they were smiling at us, I was worried about the table in the back of my father's truck even though we'd tied it down, we saw the most perfect mexican mullet go into the men's room and he stayed in there with another guy for a long time
Anytime I think something it won't take long for the opposite to manifest itself unless I am aware of the expectation of the opposite manifestation, and then it will just crawl inside my ass and eat dinner, I serve a good buffet I think
Poker is not for math people, it will crush your little fragile vagina
Everyone has a vagina especially me, it's like magic
I've been saying 'cunt' a lot I don't know why
If someone asked for advice right now about being a writer I think mine mostly would be: don't
The television is on in the room and I just limped with 8 3 offsuit and got raised
I don't want to keep thinking about anything that isn't made of slush puppie
As of right now that includes email
I am starting to despise my email, it's like a special driver's license that you aren't allowed to touch
Am I going to go to the dentist soon
Less than 30 minutes ago I threw myself on the floor and beat my fists and I was saying a lot of shit and the dog looked up at me
I am almost done living with the dog
If you limp, they raise if you don't have a big hand, if you limp and have a big hand they don't raise and they hit the flop harder than you do, if you have a big hand in late position they will all fold around it makes a swishing sound kind of
I am impressed with 'the lack'
Soon I will receive an email cursing me out with *'s making the expletives I will call my mother to the computer and show her
The other day I wanted to go into the room I am using and turn on a video recorder and lay on the bed with a box of cereal and pour it all over myself laughing and call my mother into the room and see what she says but I didn't do it because I felt serious about it
I feel flashing pangs of the biggest shit and these times where I am absolutely positive if I touch my head against the wall hard it will go right through
How much does it cost to make someone break your spine
Poker players make a lot of sense talking about hands in retrospect, they make the hands seem arranged by god
Is every hand arranged by god or are we going to get me some new socks
I said one time to someone 'I hate new socks' just because he'd said how much he likes new socks
4:29 am is ok to touch your urethra during, I am not doing that
Where does the urethra start?
Can we have a special day together
Anything you delete I'll delete, I'll do the whole of it I promise
I'm gonna make a bowl of cereal and watch it cry
I feel very focused in my lack of focus, if I had a photo of Jesus Christ I'd kiss it to bits
I am going to write mean emails back to everyone who emails me tomorrow including my employers including nice people, not including the spam folder, not including people who write me specifically now to get written back to mean, including nuns and babies, including list-servs and other stuff that asks you not to write back to them because it's just going to bounce
One of the bounced emails will be the best fucking thing I ever fucking wrote
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19 comments:
Apparently I called our waitress cunt to her face all night at beer and wings night. I have no recollection of this.
i like this post. this is a good post. it contains a plethora of ideas to reflect upon.
but, no offense, you seem angry. at least your posts have been the past couple of days.
i would hug you if no one is looking and try to alleviate your anger.
or I might smack you in the balls when I go in for the hug.
you never know with me.
p.s. you are absolutely right about the vagina.
brandi,
good job. i like to use the word "cunt" too.
Cunt renaissance.
It is a misunderstood word.
good job for spreading it.
good job brandi i like the mental image
jereme, yes something is wrong with me i'm not sure how to explain it
smack me in the b alls
yes but do you have an AUXILIARY VAGINA?
i prefer to call it COOTER
what about GINA TOWN 2?
peter your language is making me sticky
I have always been a proponent of the term "JELLY ROLL"
It was used in the 20s.
ANCILLIARY JELLY ROLL DESTRUCTION NIGHT LIGHT BRET FAVRE JESUS IN A SPEEDO STICKY BROKE AND CONFUSED BOY SHORTS VICTORIAS RUMORS AND A SPOONFULL OF ICECREAM FOR THE HOT GOLDEN GIRL AND HER JELLY ROLL
full concurrence, that is languidly erection oriented
ancillary too
You have a dog?
my parents do, i am just now finally moving into my place after the tornado
what exactly is wrong with having a dog?
is it not literary?
fuck literary!
having a dog is probably some kind of something
i'm just lazy
you are some kind of something
i feel the need to cmmment a million times now since that one thread.
i am sorry.
I like Derek's stuff in the newest Fourteen Hills. Apparently there's something from the book there? Maybe both pieces. It's on my list of books to snag.
yeah there is an excerpt there
snag that bitch
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