today i went to the grocery to buy ice cream and the guy who checked me out was a guy i remember from the years i was a boy scout. he was 5-6 years older than me and finishing his eagle badge when i was just getting started.
for some reason i vividly remember when we went on a camping trip to pensacola to sleep on a navy base. we went out and did some boy scout-ish type shit like rappelling or digging or climbing over dirt and then we were all dirty and supposed to shower. there were about thirty of us aged 12-15 naked in the navy base showers. the showers were large and wide and open and had no blinders and you could see into them even from outside where the lockers were.
for some reason i vividly remember this particular eagle scout, scrawny and pale and glasses-wearing and femininely voiced, standing near the front of the showers completely nude, without even a towel wrapped around him, staring wide-eyed and unashamedly straight on into the showers with a full ungroomed erection. he stood there while others passed by him coming in and out and he stood there with his hips slightly jutted forward and he stood there with an erection i can still for some reason vividly remember sticking straight up out into the air while he watched me and those other boys washing ourselves.
nobody said anything about it.
later he completed his eagle badge by building picnic tables for a homeless shelter.
now almost 15 years later, he works a register at kroger and is mostly bald and looks sixty years old.
he did not recognize me, or if he did, he did not show any signs of such.
every day is over before it starts.