Some days I want to crush something.
I don't even have a specific stimulus causing the impulse.
I just get up with the vibration in my blood.
I haven't slept worth shit in almost two weeks.
I am back inside the box.
I lay in bed and watch the ceiling and am not even thinking of anything good.
I try to concentrate on the color behind my eyes.
The man that lives next door knocks and squeals and moves around.
We hardly have a wall between us.
For a while I was convinced there was a woodpecker.
Being awake for several hours in bed until the sun comes up and you still haven't even felt drowsy is a sensation that could inspire terrorism.
I need to be flushed out.
I need something to crack my sternum.
I should apply my desire for crushing to myself.
There are two spots on symmetrical sides of my body just above my armpits where my flesh is very sore.
I don't know why.
I haven't lifted anything.
I can't even think of the right words when I am trying to explain myself.
I have to sit and try to think of something similar and then use the Microsoft Word thesaurus to find the simple common word I am looking for.
I need a better outlet.
I am going to begin a spam email operation.
I am going to email people the things my brain in off mode wants to shit out.
I am going to text message random phone numbers with my babble.
There might sometime be a reply.
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1 comment:
Blake,
I text page random cell phones with the local FBI phone number sometimes when I cannot sleep.
Mostly I just smoke to pass the time. Or write.
I am thrown off when I go to the liquor store at 7:00am for a beer and the clerk says "good morning" to me.
It is not my morning.
The sun is coming up right now actually.
Or just about to.
I can see weak light cresting the horizon.
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