It is time I begin living more concretely.
I will no longer put potentially abstract phrases in quotes.
If something is good I am going to say it is good
because it is good.
I am speaking. It is time I said.
Metaphysics and abstraction are more important
to me as language than things I can define.
The most simple things are the most abstract.
I would rather read about a wall in a house
than about sadness.
The wall in this blue deskroom is more sad
than the day you couldn't think of anywhere to go.
I am not thinking about anyone specific
while I am writing this. I am not angry.
My anger for life has inverted
and become a mammoth child that stands over me
in my bedroom while I am sleeping
though my bedroom now is somewhere else.
People are probably going to my ex-bedroom
while I'm not there
and having fuck parties on my bed
which still has a blanket on it that my mom made
out of tshirts that I used to wear
and they are probably fucking hard.
I am not afraid to tell you that
I think General Tso's chicken is delicious,
and when something is delicious it is good.
Good in the sense that I ate it
and felt pleasure eating
and felt pleasure again
when it came around to leave my body
for somewhere else.
The chicken that died for me to eat it died.
Abraham Lincoln also died,
as did Tupac and Roald Dahl
and lots of other people with names
which to most other people are nothing
more than names.
Al Pacino has died a fuck lot of times in the movies
but he still finds time in his schedule
to make more movies
albeit bad ones
and probably play golf and donate money
to a presidential campaign of his choice,
though he does not choose.
The scene in THE SHINING
when Jack Nicholson is working at his desk
and Shelly Duvall comes in and interrupts
causing him to yell at her profusely
with a smug grin and wild eyes
should be mandatory viewing
for all people everywhere.
It should be replayed in endless loops over cribs
while babies lay waiting to make more shit and spittle.
They should also watch credit card
and mortgage lending company commercials
to prepare them for the presence these entities
will take not too far in the future in their lives
if they decide to allow these entities
into their lives.
One day your mother might be raped
and I can always watch TV.