Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sleep & TWIN MOTHER

My insomnia is full on again. Last night fell asleep finally around 8 am and woke up at 10 am, having had bad nightmares the whole time. I haven't had a night of rest in about two weeks now. My face is turning black.

I also noticed my car was in a different position today from where I left it and the music was way down and I had had a full tank of gas but was now missing about an 1/8th. The only copy of my keys I had in my pants in my room locked. There are no other copies here.

Found this somewhere online: At age 21, Jesse Ball of New York stayed awake for 129 hours. At this same age, he had a dream that seemed to last 13 years.

This is strange because Jesse Ball is one year older than me and when I was 20 I stayed awake for exactly 129 hours also. I had mono at the time and began hallucinating and saw heads in the wall and remember talking to the heads and walking through long holes of colors.

Jesse Ball teaches classes on lying and dreaming at a university, I can't remember which one, I would like to take those.

I need to find a job teaching writing somewhere. $$$. If someone has any suggestions about this please email me. I may have said this before.



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Also: today on HOTBOOKS, a brief review of Robert Lopez's PART OF THE WORLD, as if I haven't gushed about this book enough. I really haven't. If you haven't bought this yet, you are whoops.

Also: A collaborative chapbook I wrote with Justin Dobbs, now titled TWIN MOTHER, is finished and coming out sometime. It is a strange little thing, about 8000 words with a lot of weird inappropriate sex. More on that soon.

15 comments:

KEN BAUMANN said...

weird shit.

heather anne mullins said...

Hi. I like reading your blog. I once tried to see Jesse Ball read at some park in NYC way downtown, and I got lost. I e-mailed him, and he said that he got lost too, and people didn't laugh in the right places when he read. That is my little Jesse Ball story. He made it to the park. I didn't. Again, I like reading your blog. The end.

Matt Bell said...

Sorry to hear about the insomnia, Blake-- I get it crazy bad sometimes too, but not quite as bad as you from the sounds of it. Went to dinner/drinks with Dan Wickett, Peter Markus, and David McLendon. Lots of good things were said about you, my friend.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

ken, tru dat

heather, that is a fun story. thank you for reading.

matt, i think a lot of writers get that shit. busy brain. that is nice to hear nice things were said, esp by such fine mouths. oh and mega congrats on the million writers nod, that is really awesome, i will vote vote vote

Kathryn said...

do you think you were sleep driving within those two hours? i do.

you are a mad genius.

jereme said...

I think i was nominated on that million writers thing.

Anyways, insomnia can be a motherfucker.

I get it all the time. One time I had been up for 3 or 4 days (i forget. it all runs together) and thought I was hallucinating.

When the sidewalk started to change colors I knew I had to sleep soon.

They were soft, pastel colors slowly waxing and waning from one color to the next.

It reminded me of being on acid.

Sleep deprevation can be fun at times though. Well not "fun" but productive. It puts me in a weird trance and my subconsious starts to bleed through.

Good times.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

kathryn, i think i went to krispy kreme.

i hope that's where i'm going.

jereme,
yeah i don't think i'd be the same w/o my insomnia. i always imagined it was similar in ways to acid. i've never done acid.

Matt Bell said...

Long term insomnia is actually very similar to acid, or driving twenty-some hours in a row. Lots of parallels, but esp. (at least for me) in what it does to my thinking process. Makes for interesting disconnects in linear thinking when in a safe environment (but scary behind the wheel of a moving vehicle).

Josh Maday said...

i had a sickness induced insomnia (sinus infection, of course) and didn't sleep for three days. i think it was day two or three i watched Apocalypse Now at 2 or 3 am. i've never done acid, but man; i swore there was an open umbrella under the blanket with me.

hey, matt, i think i went sort of crazy when we were driving to nyc in the middle of the night. i could not sleep when others were driving, no matter what, and i went beyond tired. that's when i got cut off from driving, i think.

Matt Bell said...

You were totally insane in the driver's seat, Josh. Unresponsive, eye's glazed, drifting back and forth... You really freaked me out, and I didn't think you were going to pull over either.

You were so mad the rest of the way home because we wouldn't let you drive!

BLAKE BUTLER said...

haha

jereme said...

Blake,

I am surprised you have not experimented with hallucinogens considering your passions lead to the surreal.

Psychotropic drugs can be very useful to expand your mind.

Matt,

Yes I agree. Acid/sleep deprivation can be very similar.

Driving is worse though I think. Too much input, too fast for too long can not only make you hallucinate but loose it mentally.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

ive always been more interested in 'natural' surrealism. aka i like my mind and its malfunctions as opposed to the imposed.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

i dont believe in mind "expansion."

mind exploration.

jereme said...

Blake,

I agree and disagree.

Expansion is nothing more then finding out that what you thought were the mapped limits are, in fact, no the limits.

So that falls in line with exploration.

It is semantics I guess.

Or not.

I will not argue with you. You are much better at this then I.

I kinda still think I'm right though.

Hahaha.