Friday, June 6, 2008

NOCOLONY.COM Buy a Pushcart

Inaugural issue of NO COLONY is now available for presale. Any folks who preorder will be thanked profusely via metronomic brain stem action.

The preorder price is $11 including shipping.

Also available on the site are two new publishing options we'd like to encourage you to consider.

For a measly $400 American dollars, the value of which decreases by the polar minute, you can buy your text into our magazine.

For $650 American dollars, you can buy your text into our magazine and be guaranteed a very special Pushcart nomination. We won't spill grease on the application.

Our dicks are very hard as we make this announcement.

This supplemental money will not be spent on the magazine but on cheese and organ donors and maybe like curtains or Windex or little babies.

Stories accepted in this way will be printed in pink text on black paper, to make them stand out just that much more.

Your fame is exponentially increasing, I can smell it.

We are not liars fucks or morons maybe.

Here is an image I started to use on the NO COLONY website but then did not.



I am also an organism.

Let sluts collide.

15 comments:

KEN BAUMANN said...

this is a winning strategy

BLAKE BUTLER said...

we should sell no colony christmas wreaths with barry hannah and russel edson ornaments and ceramic erection ornaments

KEN BAUMANN said...

check

Tao Lin said...

good job, i want to submit

i want to 'earn' my pushcart though

i hope rick moody doesn't buy all the available pushcart nominations

BLAKE BUTLER said...

tao
yes submit
we wannit

rick moody just bought 2 of 4 for a 10% discount, options are closing fast, we are in negotiations with thomas mcguane's agent

sam pink said...

do contributors pay for an issue?

BLAKE BUTLER said...

sam, no

Gena Mohwish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BLAKE BUTLER said...

she's workin it

Daniel Bailey said...

i hope no one thinks i had to buy my way in now.

minivanmafia said...

i just saw that blakebutter.com (not a typo- but a winning brand) was available.
i am going to buy it and design it with actual pushcarts and i know from them.

sam pink said...

i am glad that gena said something about the old woman's boobs because i stared at them for a long time and thought about sexual things and then i was glad to see someone else discuss the topic of the boobs so i wouldn't feel too intensely focused on the boobs.

BLAKE BUTLER said...

daniel, you will not printed in pink on black paper, dont worry

minivan, blakebutter makes your toast taste inverted and sad

sam, old women still fuck

jereme said...

Actually the physique of a couple of them is pretty damn impressive for their age.

The old one with the big tits has a killer ab area if you look closely.

I am going to guess that this picture was taken at a lake in Arizona or Nevada. These creepy old naked fucks are every where up there.

minivanmafia said...

boobs are super duper sexual in every way- none of that dopey bullshit.

i know from them because i breastfed until my kid could practically read. it is all part of the continuum.

plus, as a hag, i take offense to calling these here folks old. i have had older.