Inaugural issue of NO COLONY is now available for presale. Any folks who preorder will be thanked profusely via metronomic brain stem action.
The preorder price is $11 including shipping.
Also available on the site are two new publishing options we'd like to encourage you to consider.
For a measly $400 American dollars, the value of which decreases by the polar minute, you can buy your text into our magazine.
For $650 American dollars, you can buy your text into our magazine and be guaranteed a very special Pushcart nomination. We won't spill grease on the application.
Our dicks are very hard as we make this announcement.
This supplemental money will not be spent on the magazine but on cheese and organ donors and maybe like curtains or Windex or little babies.
Stories accepted in this way will be printed in pink text on black paper, to make them stand out just that much more.
Your fame is exponentially increasing, I can smell it.
We are not liars fucks or morons maybe.
Here is an image I started to use on the NO COLONY website but then did not.
I am also an organism.
Let sluts collide.