Friday, August 8, 2008

NO COLONY NYC LAUNCH PARTY aka Politics Made the Earlobe Whittle, Wouldja Shush?

NYC launch party for ISSUE 001 of NO COLONY will be going down at BARBES in Park Slope Brooklyn --- Friday AUGUST 22, 7:30 PM.

If you live in NYC please come. Directions are on the Barbes website. Please be on time a little too, because there is an event after us at 10. Assumedly the party will bleed out to elsewhere after, I want to accost NYC with margarita blood and make videos.

We will have issues of NO COLONY freshly in our hands (they are to arrive the day before, please someone make UPS not suck a d this once).

Readings by Robert Lopez, Tao Lin, Giancarlo DiTrapano, Justin Taylor and Nick Antosca.

If you live in NYC area, please help spread the word, I want the walls to snort when I wiggle and maybe there will be live pigs we can bring in and roll around with and maybe I can forget how to talk.

Ken Baumann's ass is supposed to be in the house from all the way across the country, he is going to do it, you should email him and tell him make it happen no matter what, he is on the fence a little, push him over.


I am excited to be coming back to NYC.

Right now there's some sort of bitchass crawling in my urethra.
Not physically, but like a mental liquid noose.
I want to take a bite out of a baby, I'm not kidding, how much would that cost?

The internet is like my cooter, it keeps making me randomly upset but often glorifies my yamkitten.

I have the tattoo mapped and/or not at all.

Vast Aire's new record DEUCES WILD has a track with the hook: I'm not a rapper I just talk alot. Obviously squatting on Big Pun's 'player's anthem.' I like Vast Aire, his voice sounds more nasal than most rappers, he is smart, the new record has really weird, creative beats, rap is tickling my yearnum

someone needs to email that lyric on loop for like 20 hours to certain people's computers in a vein of sludge they can't stand up from,

I sometimes imagine hordes of special liquid coming out of the monitor like a billion hands and one or two of them touching special moments but the most of them like beating like the shit like out of like my head

my face

More nice now.

Brandon Hobson reviewed THE WOMAN DOWN THE HALL on Clusterflock. Thanks to Brandon.

Justin Taylor's first poetry book is out now from the new X-ing Press. Congrats to Justin, the book looks beautiful, I am about to order it.

Ellipsis Press just put up preorders for two new novels, one by Eugene Marten (who crushed my ass with IN THE BLIND) and Eugene Lim (the editor of Harp & Altar). I have preordered both, I am excited. Also they are open to electronic novel submissions, their books seem really nice,

A lot is happening.

I will not be a negative fuck face

I will be a cordless drill carried in the sweaty palm of Klaus Kinski to make a peephole into the year of Draining

know what I mean

no, no

good mood


last night someone got to this blog with my favorite google query ever,
they were from India,
they looked up
'horse insert his cook in women's pussy'

exactly like that

Indian man



i could think about the nuances of that conception for the rest of my life and be happy

next book title, swear to god


Ken Baumann said...

you are on fire

Bradley Sands said...

Maybe I will go if I happen to find an apartment before then and I'm able to get the night off. Maybe. Maybe.


ken, get on the plane now

bradley, i hope you do, i would like to meet you

Bradley Sands said...

Wait. Maybe TTB requested that day/weekend off already. He requested a weekend off this month to go to NYC. So if he has off, I don't.

Bradley Sands said...

You should move the event to Northampton, Massachusetts. It will be BIGGER, especially since the place is pretty empty in the summer. It will be well attended. Mike Young will be there. I will be there. TTB will be there. Mike Bushnell will me there.

I have convinced you.


shit you are probably right, maybe we could do another one right after....


Bradley Sands said...

Get everyone on a bus to go to Northampton. There will be no decapitating and flesh eating.

I am going to Boston this weekend. Taking a train instead of a bus. But not because of the decapitating and flesh eating. But because I hate buses and trains are nice.

Tao Lin said...

someone googled '18 inch penis' and someone googled '14 inch penis' yesterday to get to my blog

someone just googled 'sex ass teen' and 'nonfiction beasty stories'

justin's book looks really nice, i just saw it 'in concrete reality'


bradley, i will try to arrange the bus trip, will you have cookies&milk for us when we get there?

tao, 'nonfiction beasty stories' i really like that.

that would be a vicious magazine

Bradley Sands said...

I like using the weird google search terms that I get as my subject headings.

Bradley Sands said...

I will arrange for milk and cookies. There is a place that delivers them at night, but I don't know if they're open in the summer because who else would pay to have milk and cookies delivered besides drunk college students?

Mike Young said...

I'll be there in New York, but you should come to Noho the day after, yes.

Bradley Sands said...

I just came from an interview for a potential rooming situation. They said they will decide on Monday, but I will be very surprised if I don't it. We cliqued hardcore.

But my sleeping schedule would probably make getting to the thing on time difficult. I've been doing 9 to 5 sleep wise lately. I guess I could do it if they gave me three nights off in a row or something. I can stay at my parents' house in Long Island.

So yeah, come to Noho. I will get cookies.


ohhh sweet. good mike, we crushin themz there

git er dun bradley


i apologize to everyone i've been saying git er dun to. i dont know where or why

ryan call said...

i am sorry i cannot be there

rum and coke

Anonymous said...

You fucker. Waiting til I split town to have your reading.


derek, i will build a copy of your out of grass and oats, we will call you goat

The Man Who Couldn't Blog said...

why is this not happening in seattle? why is there not a NO COLONY bus tour of these united states?

these are the questions. so are these.

ryan said...

the asian rivers cuomo

Heather said...

I'm so there.

Bradley Sands said...

Can't go. TTB needs to go to the dentist for like two days or something during the date of the reading. Seriously. I don't know why. Maybe he's getting his wisdom teeth pulled and he needs two days to recover.


you right, you right, let's get all these folks on a bus and just keep going

DB said...

shit. the party is too far away. you should find a homeless person to come to party as me. give him food and beer and a decent place to shit for a few hours. that would make me happy.


daniel, mail yrself to the venue, i will unwrap you

trevor said...

are you going to shoot video of the reading and host it somewhere?


good idea trevor, i will try and arrange it

Josh Maday said...

i wish i could go. i will watch from here.

blake, you can give away my pre-ordered copy as a prize at the party. or whenever.

jereme said...

ken is too 'hollywood' for you guys.

you should have a literary drinking game.

it'll be fun times.

i got 5 bucks on blake blacking out

any takers?


josh, fo real do?

jereme, i'll take you

Josh Maday said...

yeah, blake, i'll be getting a contributor copy anyway, right? if so, then yeah, prize it up yo. if i want extras i'll just order some more.

Matt Bell said...

Blake, aren't you coming to ann arbor soon? It wouldn't take much to do another No Colony reading here, with me already in AA, and Kim and Josh close by.


yeah you'll have a contib copy josh, if you def wanna give the extra away at the reading i'll come up with some kind of give away thing or something

matt, an ann arbor reading is a fantastic idea, let's talk about that, maybe late september? I was supposed to be coming up for another reading but i think that fell through, we can arrange though, that would be amazing

p said...

i will be there in spirit sort of. this is exciting.
if anyone wants to help with my new blog you really should.
why is this not happening in my back yard?


we will still be able to eat you peter

what is your new blog?

Josh Maday said...

yeah, blake, if you want to give it away for promotional purposes etc that's cool, unless you don't want to, that's okay; i just figured it would be a nice little somethin somethin to whet appetites. so, if you want, i am willing, it is yours to give away with much fanfare. make a spectacle.

yeah, an AA launch reading would be sweet. even late sept might be tough though with the little one having just arrived, but let me know what works y'all. i'll see what i can swing. that would be excellence. i do have one request though: i would like the background music before and after the reading to be ryan downey's google song.

Josh Maday said...

yes, peter, what is this new blog?

jereme said...

okay, i got 5 bucks you black out.

but you better not hold back and/or not drink.

that is bad sport.


josh, cool, yeah, we'll figure something out. between all you MI folks i bet we can get it done, then i have a good excuse to come hang out.

jereme, deal. and i promise to drinky drinky, don't u worry bout that.

p said...

yes I am still thinking this new blog through, I guess you guys found the basics in my blog post on my other blog. blog blog blog. details need to be worked out?

Matt Bell said...

All right, let's get it planned.

Josh, reading to babies is good for them. I promise not to say any fuck words while reading to your child (or any children, for that matter).

Blake, I've got a very fine couch, and we've never had more than one bat in our house. So you're welcome to crash here anytime you want to take a road trip.


awesome matt&josh, i will email you in a week or two to discuss, do you have some ideas for a venue?

Josh Maday said...


matt, don't worry about that, i'll have her reading by then so she'll know that fuck words were vital to the life of the piece. she'll be cool like that. this will be a fine opportunity to make it down to the artistic hub of ann arbor. cool. i may have to sleep between you and jess, though.

yeah, blake, email any time. matt can probably hook up a fine venue, being the mayor and all.

Matt Bell said...

You get a date range in your head, and I'll see if I can't find us a venue or two.


sounds good matt i'll let you know, thank you

Connor Tomas O'Brien said...

somebody paypal me $2000 for a plane ticket, i want to come.
party of the century.